My worst day ever
W.A.L.T recall events through the eyes of an animal.
Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when my recount has
- Title
- Orientation: When? Who? Where? Why?
- Sequence of events: What happened? Describe using the senses (hear, taste, see, smell and feel).
- Personal Comment: How did the events make you feel?
First Draft
My Worst day ever
It was a sunny day in the African Savannah. And i'm very Excited! in my new place my papa and my mama is the biggest buffalo ever and me I’m just a calf But one day i’m gonna be a big buffalo ever And. we like to go in the river bank because the river bank is nice and cold and this second my dad shouted run and I feel really, scared because I can see and smell the lion behind me and Then they got me and I thought that. I m gonna `die and this second the crocodile came in the water and the lion and the crocodile Fight over me and then the lion still got me and then my papa call all the big buffalo and i am never happy because my Papa and my mama didn't give up at me.
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ReplyDeleteWell done Sofia I really like what you have done. But You might want to put a little more punctuation
ReplyDeleteI like how you said that your papa,mama are the biggest buffalo ever.
Well done Sofia. I like how you put the words African savanna. Next time you write a story can you please make yours a bit more exciting.
ReplyDeleteWell done Sofia. I like how you put the words African savanna. Next time you write a story can you please make yours a bit more exciting.
ReplyDeleteHi Sofia, I like your first draft but did you add any red improvements?
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